Tag Archives: false teeth

The Denture Code

A clergyman who had taken temporary duty for a friend, had the ill-luck to injure his false teeth during the week. The plate was sent to the dentist’s for repair, a faithful assurance being given that it should be duly returned by Sunday’s post, but the dentist or the post proved faithless. With the assistance of the clerk, the clergyman  managed to stumble through the prayers, but felt it would be useless to attempt to preach. He therefore instructed the clerk to “ make some excuse for him and dismiss the congregation.” But his feelings may he better imagined than described when in the seclusion of the vestry he overheard the clerk in impressive tones thus deliver the “excuse”: very sorry, but it is his misfortune to be obligated to wear a set of artful teeth. They busted last Wednesday, and he ain’t got them back from London today as he was promised. I’ve helped him all I could through the service, but I can’t do no more for him ; ’tisn’t any use him going up into the pulpit, for you wouldn’t understand a word he  said, so he thinks you all may as well go
home.”
Source: The Bendigo Independent, Sat 22 October, 1892
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Till Death Do Us NOT Part

The latest idea in economy stands to the credit of a thrifty American woman who lived near Janesville, and was wearing her dead husband’s false teeth. When he died she had his fine set of false teeth removed before he was placed in the coffin. Then she called upon the old dentist, informing him that she desired to have them remade to fit her, and the request was granted. When she left the dentist, she said that she hoped that the teeth would make her feel 30 years younger, as she intended to marry again shortly.

Source: Clarence and Richmond Examiner, Sat 27 July 1907

The Gummy Groom

An extraordinary and untimely accident caused a suburban wedding to be postponed for two hours. The prospective bridegroom was having his last meal as a bachelor when he had the misfortune to break his false teeth in halves. What might have been merely an unfortunate nuisance was made serious by the fact that he swallowed them. He was rushedto hospital, where an x-ray examination revealed that the broken denture was lodged in his stomach. In spite of the misfortune he was determined that the ceremony should take place, and the marriage was performed.

Source: Advocate,  Thu 17 Aug 1933

The Silver Lining

The most ingenious prisoner of war in Stalag XXA (Germany) was an Australian, Lance-Corporal A- Lewis, who made himself a set of false  teeth with melted down “silver paper”. This was revealed by a British prisoner’s letter published in the “Daily Mail,” which stated: “Lewis, by common consent, gets all the silver paper from the cigarette packets and chocolates received in prisoners’ parcels. He melts it down, and by pouring it in moulds supplies the men with first-class reproductions of regimental badges.”

Source: Morning Bulletin, Mon 8 Feb, 1943

A resident of Molotou, on the Dorrigo, had his artificial teeth stolen by a black magpie . While the man was at work, he removed his new set of artificial teeth, which had been troubling him and placed them on a nearby log. Presently a magpie swooped down and flew off with them to a high tree and proceeded to try and break them against a dead limb. A gun was secured, but the shot failed, and the bird, still clutching the teeth in its beak, flew away with the owner of them in pursuit. It was not long before both bird and teeth were lost to light in a thickly-wooded gully! • The Sydney Morning Herald, Fri 24 Dec 1926

Aussie Gem

An inventive dental supplies wholesaler who wanted good grip on his garage drive in North Manly (Australia), paved it with false teeth!

He dug out a couple of sacks containing artificial teeth from his garage and sprinkled them on the steep incline of his drive . He selected molars rather than anterior teeth to prevent any tire damage!

Genius!

 

Source: Barrier Miner, Monday 6 September 1948

 

#Lest we Forget

Private Alf Lewis was an enterprising ANZAC. While a prisoner of war in Germany during World War II,  his false teeth became useless. He set to replace these by making new ones out of tinfoil wrappers from cheese sent by the Red Cross. His fellow prisoners were so impressed with his shiny new teeth, that they assigned him the task of replacing theirs as well.

He was repatriated in 1944…

Source: Army News, Wednesday 15 November 1944

Falling in Love

A Parisian woman took her dentist to court, after one of her false teeth fell into the hand of her fiancé. This, she claimed ruined her chances of successfully marrying for the second time. The court heard that prior to the incident, the fiancé always complimented the woman on her best asset. However, this was done in ignorance of them not being her natural teeth. She claimed that the man was horrified and ran away, not seeing him since!

Source: Barrier Miner, Tuesday 29 August 1950