Bulldog dives into bed,
room air choked through
an accordion mouthpiece
into a jam-ming valve regulator;
breath descends to moon land where
it bubbles smoke into pink fairy floss
and floats to Central station,
the master of sweet life
Les, the music saw
under back pressure
and kinks, the hose connection;
his closing nightmare underwater,
a paw slashed against the throat
i observe a minute’s silence
on the alarm clock;
gasped feedback circuit opens
to beckon a buoyant swell of air,
arousing inspiration he ascends
Poseidon’s whirlpool to reach
but slips over and
A man from St. Louis was looking for a cigar with two teeth. The false molars were embedded in the half smoked cigar, which he tossed out of the car window while driving home from work!
Source:News, Thursday 8 June 1950,
What I remember from my math teacher
is that x and y relate to one another
by adding or subtracting a number
or even by multiplying or dividing another
part of the problem depends on triangulation
derived by methodical manipulation
and careful consideration of the probability
in restoring an equation to equilibrium
cognisant of any degrees of freedom
count with geometrical precision
like the hypotenuse of a Pythagorean triangle
with often more than one solution applicable.
When a young lady’s lover paid her a visit, he found her distressed, and with tears in her eyes. On enquiring as to the reason, she complained that she suffered terribly from toothache, and that her dentist recommended she have two teeth removed. She continued by asking her guy whether he would accompany her to the surgery, to which he replied in the affirmative. On hearing this, she asked him whether he would have two teeth out as well? When the reply was “yes”, she went on to enquire, if he would have them out prior to her. The answer was again “yes”. The woman immediately flung away her handkerchief from her face and gave her man a lingering kiss, afterwards informing him that it was all a test of his love for her. They immediately made wedding arrangements!
Source: The Queenslander, Saturday 26 March 1910
A professor of speech at Teacher’s College in New York, quoted in the “New York Times” said: When a person can recite the following without difficulty, his speech is normal:
Are our oats here?
Many a Wit is not a whit wittier than Whittier.
The menu is not less important than the men you meet.
His suit shoaWed spots of suet and soot.
Why don’t you try it?
Source: Western Argus, Tuesday 26 May 1936
While a one year old baby was sitting at the Southwold sands, he decided to sink his two erupted teeth into the ear of his father’s bull terrier, which howled and ran away to sulk for the rest of the day!
Source: The Advertiser, Thursday 12 August 1937