What a Shocker!

Trials were made in London with an apparatus for the extraction
of teeth by electricity!
 The apparatus consisted of an induction-coil of extremely fine wire, having an interrupter that could vibrate at the rate of 450 times a second. The patient sat in the traditional arm chair and took the negative electrode in his left hand, and the positive in his right. At this moment, the operator turned on a current whose intensity was gradually increased till it had attained the utmost limit that the patient could support. The extractor was then put in circuit and fastened on the tooth, which under the action of the vibrations, loosened at once.
Source: The Kadina and Wallaroo Times, Sat 22 Jun 1895
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Love and Marriage

An elderly couple boarded a tram at Belmont. Suddenly the woman exclaimed: “Dad!.,You
haven’t got your teeth!” Dad touched his mouth to make sure. “It’s your fault,” he said, “letting me come out in public without my teeth.” He pulled the bell cord. “Surely  you don’t hold your wife responsible for putting your teeth in before going out?” asked a fellow passenger. “Certainly, I do. She has a good look at me before I leave home. She’d soon notice it if I went out without my trousers. Of course, its her fault; she should see I have my teeth in before I go out!
Source: The Charleville Times, Thu 11 June, 1953

Bullion Bulldog

An English bulldog sitting in a car on Washington Street, Indianapolis, attracted considerable attention with a generous display of gold teeth!
By reason of the open face construction peculiar to this breed of dog, the gold fang was especially prominent and fairly glistened in the sunlight. There was other wealth in the dog’s mouth besides this, for she had four back teeth of the valuable metal. Despite these adornments, the dog of aristrocratic breeding, was not at all proud, but looked about in a casual way, as though mildly interested n the persons who were keenly interested in her.

A resident of Molotou, on the Dorrigo, had his artificial teeth stolen by a black magpie . While the man was at work, he removed his new set of artificial teeth, which had been troubling him and placed them on a nearby log. Presently a magpie swooped down and flew off with them to a high tree and proceeded to try and break them against a dead limb. A gun was secured, but the shot failed, and the bird, still clutching the teeth in its beak, flew away with the owner of them in pursuit. It was not long before both bird and teeth were lost to light in a thickly-wooded gully! • The Sydney Morning Herald, Fri 24 Dec 1926

Splintered Sleep

Bulldog dives into bed,

room air choked through

an accordion mouthpiece

into a jam-ming valve regulator;

 

breath descends to moon land where

it bubbles smoke into pink fairy floss

and floats to Central station,

the master of sweet life

 

Les, the music saw

sinks

deep

under back pressure

and kinks, the hose connection;

his closing nightmare underwater,

a paw slashed against the throat

 

i observe a minute’s silence

on the alarm clock;

 

gasped feedback circuit opens

to beckon a buoyant swell of air,

arousing inspiration he ascends

Poseidon’s whirlpool to reach

terra firma

but                                                        slips over and

under

Relationships

What I remember from my math teacher
is that x and y relate to one another
by adding or subtracting a number
or even by multiplying or dividing another

part of the problem depends on triangulation
derived by methodical manipulation
and careful consideration of the probability
in restoring an equation to equilibrium

cognisant of any degrees of freedom
count with geometrical precision
like the hypotenuse of a Pythagorean triangle
with often more than one solution applicable.

Testing the Waters

When a young lady’s lover paid her a visit, he found her distressed, and with tears in her eyes. On enquiring as to the reason, she complained that she suffered terribly from toothache, and that her dentist recommended she have two teeth removed. She continued by asking her guy whether he would accompany her to the surgery, to which he replied in the affirmative. On hearing this, she asked him whether he would have two teeth out as well? When the reply was “yes”, she went on to enquire, if he would have them out prior to her. The answer was again “yes”. The woman immediately flung away her handkerchief from her face and gave her man a lingering kiss, afterwards informing him that it was all a test of his love for her. They immediately made wedding arrangements!

Source: The Queenslander, Saturday 26 March 1910

She sells sea shells….

A professor of speech at Teacher’s College in New York, quoted in the “New York Times” said: When a person can recite the following without difficulty, his speech is normal:

Are our oats here?
Many a Wit is not a whit wittier than Whittier.
The menu is not less important than the men you meet.
His suit shoaWed spots of suet and soot.

Why don’t you try it?

Source: Western Argus, Tuesday 26 May 1936

A site dedicated to smiles

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