Category Archives: Sport

With Apologies to Mr Austen Tayshus

SOMEBODY AT THE CRICKET

 

I’m watching the Ashes at the GABA

on my plasma screen TV

sipping my spirit tonic

 

I hear a murmur go round the crowd

“It’s Bili Rubin!”

the joule of the Aussie team

appears from the dugout

waving his bat about

and wearing the Baggy Green

“Bili, sinus atrophy!” the fans yell out

 

the bowler, a bald chap

chants with chin music

he bends to collect his ball

and slowly straightening, eyeballs the batsman;

strapping both wrists

he casts a cursory glance at the pitch

 

Bili stands at the crease

confidently swinging his holistic

all the while raising the temperature

always needling the challenger

“Bolus a Sixer!”

we hear him caul out

 

there’s hypertension as the foe approaches and finally

pitches an arm ball chest on

the orb shunts onto the sticky wicket biting into a depression on the earth like a

bypassing creeping eruption! 

 

It was twilight when Bili

took delivery of the bouncer

too late to make a cut

for it hit a blind spot

frantically, he jerked his head and duct

I watched the face lift, and him go cocci

seeing spots before the eyes

 

What a nightmare!

the pavilion panics; in shock

the batsman goes mental and starts to salk

bowler blows him the kiss of life

before he retires for today

 

Ah, such action-packed days

the cricket proves a thrill

me ending up with

port wine stain on my t-shirt

and me TV mate consoling,

“pore another, and munch on a piNeal.”

 

 

Snap, Crackle and Pop!

Ever hear of a tooth exploding in someone’s mouth? Well, it is possible and it has happened.

The phenomenon is called barodontocrexis; what a fantastic word – ba-ro-don-to-cre-xis (from the Greek for tooth explosion).  It occurs in the scuba diving world when trauma to a tooth is induced, causing it to shatter by the change in barometric pressure on ascending from a dive. It has been known to affect decayed teeth and teeth with faulty fillings.

The concern is that the incident can potentially lead to severe pain, swallowing of the tooth fragments or even their aspiration. As a worst case scenario, this has the potential to cause sudden incapacitation and premature discontinuation of the dive.

Fortunately, the prevalence is rare, reportedly affecting less than 1% of divers…

 

Source: Diving dentistry: a review of the dental implications of scuba diving.

Zadik Y, Drucker S.

Aust Dent J. 2011 Sep;56(3):265-71. 

footy fever

The usual method of transplanting a tooth involves a surgical approach. However, Charles Greenaway of Merton got more than he bargained for during a football match when another player’s tooth became embedded in his forehead during a collision. Like the trooper that he was, Charles completed the match prior to having the tooth removed in hospital. It is not known whether his team won the match…

Source: The Gippsland Times, Thursday, 27 Jan 1938

moving heaven and earth

Most of us know that tug of war has been part of human sports culture since ancient times. The rules dictate that two single (or team) opponents pull against each other with a rope, aiming to overthrow the weaker rival across a line separating the two. Obviously, both mental and physical strength are needed.  The extreme version of this activity must be a “dental “tug of war, the main difference being that the athlete employs his teeth instead of his hands to do the tugging!

 A Frenchman by the name of Andre Le Gall was a victorious “teeth tugger”, and accordingly dubbed the “man with steel jaws”.  His style was even more punishing, as the challengers were much larger, heavier and stronger than him –inhuman, one might say.   In 1949, he reportedly stopped a 140 horsepower light plane from flying by tugging against it with a rope attachment; earlier that day he hauled a 600 ton sailing ship the length of St Malo dock.

I suppose it would’ve been easier to simply cancel his travel tickets….

Source: The Northern Miner, 24 September, 1949

 

Dear Fellow Dental Explorer

What kind of physical preparation do you think “dental” tug of war requires? For instance, hanging by your teeth from the hills hoist for hours on end?