While a one year old baby was sitting at the Southwold sands, he decided to sink his two erupted teeth into the ear of his father’s bull terrier, which howled and ran away to sulk for the rest of the day!
Source: The Advertiser, Thursday 12 August 1937
My kitchen sink is a gastronomic warzone
of food scraps, glass, metal and china
a lingering fusion of spice
drip drops of tomato sauce and olive oil
splattered all over the hotplate and tile wall
like a Pro Hart canvas
leftovers are scraped into the tidy bin,
well, according to Murphy’s Law
some land onto the floor
making a mess of the whole damned thing,
after each squeeze, the detergent bottle bubbles
the last erupting beads of lemon scented liquid
prove stubbornly resistant
spa steam rises making me sweat
water trickling from my brow into the salt lake
triangle at the front of my neck
I suppose that rubber glove on my submerged right hand is a hole in disguise
as my fingers start to swell becoming twice their original size
each utensil blindly lifted from the milky tub is a lathered revelation
and randomly driven about the basin
the last stubbornly concealed from elevation
crockery chips on the stainless steel tap when I don’t concentrate
oops, there goes another set!
plates are piled high in the super bowl
elevating Archimedes principle
dam! (or was that Eureka!) a wavelength spills onto the splash back
and in my panic I unplug the sinkhole
fingers fumbling in desperation to seal the sucking! chasm
at last, all is rinsed and strategically stacked onto the drying rack
until it suddenly topples over as I turn my back,
casseroles crashing to the ground giving me a heart attack
I wipe down cupboards, hood, hotplate, bench, microwave, oven, sink,
and mop the kitchen floor, but of course
when I take the rubbish out there’s a !@#$%^ tear in the plastic!
The Chief clerk of the Chicago tax department was puzzled after receiving an income tax cheque with two x-rays of someone’s teeth!
The cheque was kept, but the x-rays were returned to their owner – an absent minded dentist…
Source: The Mail, Saturday 4 February 1950
A girl in Bradford had several teeth knocked out after being hit by a bolt of lightning during a thunderstorm!
Source: The South Australian Advertiser, Monday 21 September 1874
An insurance company in the USA paid the claim of a man who bit his own throat!
The man was playing tennis when he slipped, causing his false teeth to dislodge down his throat and enclose onto its flesh…
Ever heard of a tooth poking out an eye?
Well, it happened to a dentist in Pama, Illinois, as he was taking a tooth out!
The tooth slipped from the dentist’s forceps, shattered his glasses, and then blinded him in one eye….
Source: Goulburn Evening Penny Post , Thursday 27 Oct 1932