Category Archives: marriage

Till Death Do Us NOT Part

The latest idea in economy stands to the credit of a thrifty American woman who lived near Janesville, and was wearing her dead husband’s false teeth. When he died she had his fine set of false teeth removed before he was placed in the coffin. Then she called upon the old dentist, informing him that she desired to have them remade to fit her, and the request was granted. When she left the dentist, she said that she hoped that the teeth would make her feel 30 years younger, as she intended to marry again shortly.

Source: Clarence and Richmond Examiner, Sat 27 July 1907

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The Golden Couple

Nicholas, a poor peasant who worked in the fields of Macedonia had but one ambition; to some day have a gold tooth. His natural teeth were all sound enough, and as white and even as anyone could wish, but the longing for one of the shining yellow metal held him fast. So when Nicholas said goodbye to his Macedonian sweetheart, Kyra, a beautiful peasant girl, and went to New York, he promised that he would return to claim her as his bride after he had got a gold tooth. The immigrant settled in the States, worked hard and amassed a small fortune. One day a dentist placed a  shining gold crown on one of his  teeth, and Nicholas left immediately for Macedonia to marry Kyra.

Source: Globe, Wed 13 March, 1912

The Gummy Groom

An extraordinary and untimely accident caused a suburban wedding to be postponed for two hours. The prospective bridegroom was having his last meal as a bachelor when he had the misfortune to break his false teeth in halves. What might have been merely an unfortunate nuisance was made serious by the fact that he swallowed them. He was rushedto hospital, where an x-ray examination revealed that the broken denture was lodged in his stomach. In spite of the misfortune he was determined that the ceremony should take place, and the marriage was performed.

Source: Advocate,  Thu 17 Aug 1933

Love and Marriage

An elderly couple boarded a tram at Belmont. Suddenly the woman exclaimed: “Dad!.,You
haven’t got your teeth!” Dad touched his mouth to make sure. “It’s your fault,” he said, “letting me come out in public without my teeth.” He pulled the bell cord. “Surely  you don’t hold your wife responsible for putting your teeth in before going out?” asked a fellow passenger. “Certainly, I do. She has a good look at me before I leave home. She’d soon notice it if I went out without my trousers. Of course, its her fault; she should see I have my teeth in before I go out!
Source: The Charleville Times, Thu 11 June, 1953