Category Archives: Love

Till Death Do Us NOT Part

The latest idea in economy stands to the credit of a thrifty American woman who lived near Janesville, and was wearing her dead husband’s false teeth. When he died she had his fine set of false teeth removed before he was placed in the coffin. Then she called upon the old dentist, informing him that she desired to have them remade to fit her, and the request was granted. When she left the dentist, she said that she hoped that the teeth would make her feel 30 years younger, as she intended to marry again shortly.

Source: Clarence and Richmond Examiner, Sat 27 July 1907

The Golden Couple

Nicholas, a poor peasant who worked in the fields of Macedonia had but one ambition; to some day have a gold tooth. His natural teeth were all sound enough, and as white and even as anyone could wish, but the longing for one of the shining yellow metal held him fast. So when Nicholas said goodbye to his Macedonian sweetheart, Kyra, a beautiful peasant girl, and went to New York, he promised that he would return to claim her as his bride after he had got a gold tooth. The immigrant settled in the States, worked hard and amassed a small fortune. One day a dentist placed a  shining gold crown on one of his  teeth, and Nicholas left immediately for Macedonia to marry Kyra.

Source: Globe, Wed 13 March, 1912

The Gummy Groom

An extraordinary and untimely accident caused a suburban wedding to be postponed for two hours. The prospective bridegroom was having his last meal as a bachelor when he had the misfortune to break his false teeth in halves. What might have been merely an unfortunate nuisance was made serious by the fact that he swallowed them. He was rushedto hospital, where an x-ray examination revealed that the broken denture was lodged in his stomach. In spite of the misfortune he was determined that the ceremony should take place, and the marriage was performed.

Source: Advocate,  Thu 17 Aug 1933

Love and Marriage

An elderly couple boarded a tram at Belmont. Suddenly the woman exclaimed: “Dad!.,You
haven’t got your teeth!” Dad touched his mouth to make sure. “It’s your fault,” he said, “letting me come out in public without my teeth.” He pulled the bell cord. “Surely  you don’t hold your wife responsible for putting your teeth in before going out?” asked a fellow passenger. “Certainly, I do. She has a good look at me before I leave home. She’d soon notice it if I went out without my trousers. Of course, its her fault; she should see I have my teeth in before I go out!
Source: The Charleville Times, Thu 11 June, 1953

Testing the Waters

When a young lady’s lover paid her a visit, he found her distressed, and with tears in her eyes. On enquiring as to the reason, she complained that she suffered terribly from toothache, and that her dentist recommended she have two teeth removed. She continued by asking her guy whether he would accompany her to the surgery, to which he replied in the affirmative. On hearing this, she asked him whether he would have two teeth out as well? When the reply was “yes”, she went on to enquire, if he would have them out prior to her. The answer was again “yes”. The woman immediately flung away her handkerchief from her face and gave her man a lingering kiss, afterwards informing him that it was all a test of his love for her. They immediately made wedding arrangements!

Source: The Queenslander, Saturday 26 March 1910

The Proposal

A Scotsman with a big mouth, housing a big front tooth, was at a public dinner one day, when a maiden quizzed him about being a bachelor.  She told him that if it were not for that tooth, she would marry him herself.

To this, the Scot quietly replied that the Almighty likely put it there to save him from that fate!

Source: The Capricornian, Saturday 4 March 1899

Falling in Love

A Parisian woman took her dentist to court, after one of her false teeth fell into the hand of her fiancé. This, she claimed ruined her chances of successfully marrying for the second time. The court heard that prior to the incident, the fiancé always complimented the woman on her best asset. However, this was done in ignorance of them not being her natural teeth. She claimed that the man was horrified and ran away, not seeing him since!

Source: Barrier Miner, Tuesday 29 August 1950

Love and Marriage

A 60 year old man and his wife from Richmond, Virginia had been arguing during a car tour when they stopped at a grocery store. As the gentleman entered the shop, his wife sped off with the car. On realizing what had happened, the man contacted police and appealed for his false teeth, which were left in the glove box; he did not want his wife back…

Source: Barrier Miner, Monday 25 July 1949

 

love note

Broadway actress Haila Stoddard visited her dentist for emergency bridgework. On her following visit, she admired the new bridge and described it as being “beautiful”.  The dentist in turn informed her that it was “a labour of love”, as the dental technician who made it fell in love with her the first time he saw her on stage. On the back of the bridge the mechanic had inscribed, “With Love”…

Source: Sunday Times, Sunday 14 april 1946