“KISS THE STUD!” shouted the banner waving prominently above the kissing booth at the college fair. She joined the long queue of pubertal glamazons and patiently advanced toward her dream. The “stud” was a male oasis to Carla and her friends. They would espy him in the school corridors between classes and then he would disappear. In a word, he was perfection. Carla had purposefully put a little money aside from her after school job at the local Maccas just for this day; for the chance to objectify his reality.
She finally reached the head of the queue, straightened herself, checked for any lipstick stains on her teeth – now that would be embarrassing- and sat butterfly stricken opposite him. He didn’t disappoint, sharing an alluring smile without opening his cupid lips. Carla just about went out of her mind with excitement. He introduced himself by leaning into her and she answered by collecting her prize. His lips were softly engaging, but not enough for Carla. She proactively delved deeper, knowing that this was most likely to be their first and last intimate meeting. The stud complied, transporting her to another realm; the nightmare of reality! The girl was instantaneously repulsed by the stench of thrush. She felt a rough, irregular, spongy growth engaging the metal sphere thrusting above his tongue, and immediately withdrew from the cavern. She felt disgust towards the kisser, who now presented a cacophonous laugh revealing sharp, jagged, chipped teeth. He actually looked senile -being long in the tooth – and she felt a rush of vile in her throat. He flickered out his split tongue – a two headed asp vying for a bite of her flesh.
Carla screamed all the way home from the fair, without first stopping to ask for a refund…
Plessas A, Pepelassi E.
Aust Dent J. 2012 Mar;57(1):71-8.